Failing miserably.....but with visual aids....

There's nothing to say, really. Just look at the goddamn chart.

Something must be done. Suggestions are welcome, nay, DEMANDED. Perhaps I'll try the fasting method....although I will need some clarification on whether or not "fasting" includes drinking (water, grain alcohol, etc......)

So here it is:

A somewhat nifty, yet thoroughly depressing, CHART showing Kate's failure as of Day 21 of "The Experiment" (for all you "visual people" out there)

***NOTE: Click the chart to make it way bigger***

I suck at blogging.....

....but I do promise to report my stats for Days 10 through 14 soon....with a nifty CHART that will show my ABYSMAL FAILURE in my experiment thus far...yet at the same time display my COPACETIC CHART-MAKING SKILLS!!!!! And to that I say boo ya!!

Stay tuned!!

Days 7, 8, and 9 of 30

KATE'S STATS, DAY 7 OF 30 - Tuesday, March 30

• In bed by Monday night by: 1:00 a.m. (27 minutes later than Sunday night)
• Lights out by: 1:35 a.m. (33 minutes later than Sunday night)
  
• Awake Tuesday morning at: 9:38 a.m. (44 minutes later than Monday morning)
  
• At work by: 10:40 a.m. (45 minutes later than Monday morning)
  
• Overall grade (A through F scale): D

KATE'S STATS, DAY 8 OF 30 - Wednesday, March 31

• In bed Tuesday night by: 1:00 a.m. (same as Monday night)
• Lights out by: 1:33 a.m. (2 minutes earlier than Monday night)
  
• Awake Wednesday morning at: 8:57 a.m. (41 minutes earlier than Tuesday morning)
  
• At work by: 10:05 a.m. (35 minutes earlier than Tuesday morning)
  
• Overall grade (A through F scale): B

KATE'S STATS, DAY 9 OF 30 - Thursday, April 1

• In bed Wednesday night by: 12:59 a.m. (1 minute earlier than Tuesday night)
• Lights out by: 1:38 a.m. (5 minutes later than Tuesday night)
  
• Awake Thursday morning at: 9:37 a.m. (40 minutes later than Wednesday morning)
  
• At work by: 10:35 a.m. (30 minutes later than Wednesday morning)
  
• Overall grade (A through F scale): D

Days 5 and 6 of 30

My stats from Saturday night through Monday morning:

KATE'S STATS, DAY 5 OF 30 - Sunday, March 28

• In bed by: 4:24 a.m. (2 hours and 16 minutes later than Friday night )
  
• Lights out by: 5:12 a.m. (2 hours and 29 minutes later than Friday night )
  
• Awake Sunday morning at: 1:33 p.m. (3 hours and 28 minutes later than Saturday morning)
  
• At work by: N/A - Sunday
• Overall grade (A through F scale): F*
  * For this fall off the wagon I blame Showtime On Demand's dastardly "Freeview" -- free access to all Showtime On Demand programming, but only for the cruelly inadequate time frame of 36 hours -- forcing me to spend several consecutive hours watching Season 3 of Californication and Season 4 of Dexter. But it had to be done).
  

KATE'S STATS, DAY 6 OF 30 - Monday, March 29

• In bed by: 12:33 a.m. (3 hours and 51 minutes earlier than Saturday night)
  
• Lights out by: 1:02 a.m. (3 hours and 10 minutes earlier than Saturday night)
  
• Awake Monday morning at: 8:54 a.m. (4 hours and 39 minutes earlier than Sunday morning)
  
• At work by: 9:55 a.m. (46 minutes earlier than Friday morning)
• Overall grade (A through F scale): B

Day 4 of 30

Once again, I'm just posting stats, since it's already 2 a.m....so I'm into Day 5 already! Sort of....

KATE'S STATS, DAY 4 OF 30 - Saturday, March 27

• In bed last night by: 2:08 a.m. (1 hour and 36 minutes later than yesterday)
  
• Lights out by: 2:43 a.m. (1 hour and 30 minutes later than yesterday)
  
• Awake this morning at: 10:05 a.m. (26 minutes later than yesterday)
  
• At work by: N/A - Saturday (but I did manage to get to Broomfield by 11:10 a.m., so I'm giving myself extra points for that).
• Overall grade (A through F scale): C- (hey, it IS a Saturday)
  

Tomorrow, I'm going to post something a bit more interesting....perhaps some charts, mmm?? I do like to make charts. I'm also going to delve into an alternative method of changing your internal alarm clock that was brought to my attention by alert reader (and second cousin?) Beth Major.

I'm thinking I'll post a poll of some sort....I'm interested in feedback as to whether I should continue with the 30-day experiment or say to hell with it and instead go with the method Beth recommended.....

I'm off to bed, but not before sharing my quote of the day from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (which is an AWESOME show that EVERYONE MUST WATCH):

Mac: "Well, maybe it boils down to this, smart guy: Computers are for losers."
Dennis: "You're drinking a beer at 8:00 in the morning."
Mac: "Whatever, dude. Irrelevant."

Day 3 of 30

Just a quick stats posting for now, since I need to get to bed....(must be at my in-laws' place in Broomfield tomorrow by 11 a.m. for brunch, etc.)....

KATE'S STATS, DAY 3 OF 30

• In bed last night by: 12:32 a.m. (18 minutes earlier than yesterday)
  
• Lights out by: 1:13 a.m. (12 minutes earlier than yesterday)
  
• Awake this morning at: 9:39 a.m. (3 minutes later than yesterday)
  
• At work by: 10:41 a.m. (7 minutes earlier than yesterday...guess I got ready more quickly.....)
• Overall grade (A through F scale): D

Day 2 of 30

So here we are at the end of Day 2. My progress has somewhat improved. By "somewhat" I mean "not really." But lo and behold, that amazing source of infallible information known as the Internet has been very helpful in my quest for self-justification. Apparently, INCREMENTAL change is the key to a transformation like the one I'm attempting to undertake. So as long as I do a little better each day, I'm not a complete failure.

Keeping that in mind....

KATE'S STATS, DAY 2 OF 30

• In bed last night by: 12:50 a.m. (10 minutes earlier than yesterday)
  
• Lights out by: 1:25 a.m. (again, 1o minutes earlier than yesterday)
  
• Awake this morning at: 9:36 a.m. (7 minutes earlier than yesterday)
  
• At work by: 10:48 a.m. (Yeah, yeah. "Incremental" is the word to keep in mind here).
• Overall grade (A through F scale): D

So here's hoping that I'll do better tomorrow.

And Saturday. And Sunday. The weekends are definitely going to be more difficult. But the Internet says that in order to establish a habit of getting up early, I have to do it every day of the week, at least for the first 30 days. To the Internet I say boo.

Heading to bed now....

Day 1 of 30

I guess I forgot to mention in my first post that the official launch date for the "Can Kate Breslin Transform Into A Morning Person In 30 Days" experiment was today, Wednesday, March 24th.

I'm not off to a great start here, as Day #1 of 30 winds down. First of all, it's 11:23 p.m. and I'm sitting in front of a computer (and if you read my first posting, you'll know that you shouldn't work on a computer immediately before bed). Second of all, behold my stats:

KATE'S STATS, DAY 1 OF 30

• In bed last night by: 1:00 a.m.
• Lights out by: 1:35 a.m.
• Awake this morning at: 9:43 a.m.
• At work by: N/A (Denver experienced a ridiculous snowstorm last night, leaving a good foot of snow in its wake and, more importantly, on my car. So I worked from home. And I was actually productive by around 10:15 a.m., and managed to get quite a lot of work done while snowed in.)
• Overall grade (A through F scale): D+

Yes, I'm a miserable, pathetic failure. But I'm going to lie down RIGHT NOW in hopes of improving my stats for tomorrow.

At some point here - I'm shooting for tomorrow or Friday - I'll be posting my "goal wake-up times" and "goal at-work-by times." This is where the fun comes in for you, lucky reader. I'm trying to think of some incentives, some carrots and sticks, if you will, that my loving family, skeptical friends, and generally irritated coworkers can use on me as they see fit -- as long as is contributes to the desired morning-person-in-30-days outcome, it's fair game.

What's that? You've already thought of some carrots and sticks? Oh, just sticks? I see how it is! Post all your cockamamie ideas in the Comments section! I'm off to bed!

A Bit of Background.....

First things first: I am not a morning person.

That's not quite strong enough. Maybe capitals and bold print will help: I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.

Well, that was a fun exercise in the art of text formatting, but I actually don't think I need to emphasize the point any further. If you know me, you know that I am notorious for being a night owl instead of an early bird.

I've been defending my sleep habits for years. "Why get up early? I'm more productive at night," I proclaim to whoever is asking (or growling at me for being late to work).

Which is technically true - in a given day, my brain is performing at its optimum level somewhere between the hours of 6:00 p.m. and 2:00 a.m. The rest of the time, I'm basically just functioning in a daze.

I wasn't always this way. In high school I played ice hockey (Matt Holt, back me up on this). I know for a fact that I played in games, away games even, at 7 or 8 a.m. on most Saturdays during hockey season. Come to think of it, didn't my first class in high school begin at 7:10 a.m.? How did I do it then? And, more importantly, why can't I do it now?

After all, millions of Americans manage to get their asses to work by 9 a.m. So why is it that I rarely make it in by 10:30?? And, damn it, why am I always awake (and nearly always working) at midnight, 1 a.m., 2 a.m....? There are several possible answers to this question. Some say that genetics determine whether a person is predisposed to be an "early riser" or not. However, my dad wakes up ungodly early (like, 5 a.m.), so I definitely don't get it from him. So I could just blame it all on my mom, which is tempting (thanks Mom!)

I recently read a study that says that sitting in front of a computer screen till all hours can seriously mess up your internal clock and sleep/wake cycle. Read it for yourself if you're so inclined: "Effects of VDT tasks with a bright display at night on melatonin, core temperature, heart rate, and sleepiness" .

But alas, searching for a reason for my abnormal sleep habits does nothing to solve the problem. I can either provide excuses or I can suck it up and *gasp* make an effort to change into one of those perky, enthusiastic "morning birds" that I find so annoying.

And so it begins....

Can Kate Breslin Transform Into A Morning Person In 30 Days? -- The Experiment.

It sounds like some kind of awesome movie, no? No?? Well, screw you! I'm doing it anyway! Bwah ha ha!

Stay tuned!!! And prepare to be recruited! This experiment requires your participation!!